drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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