Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
