I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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