I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
