so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
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I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
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I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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