i barfeds in our rink
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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