the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
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i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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