We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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