you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
