Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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