matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
