Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
