Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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