how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think I sprained my soul last night
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
