That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
