Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
