you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
