I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
