don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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