I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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