So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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