But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
