One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
