this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
