I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
