think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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