What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
and she was petting her beer can
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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