i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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