Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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