I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
