i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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