Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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