At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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