I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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