It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize