I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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