the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
