you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
