I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
