I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
