I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
