After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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