It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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