Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
