I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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