I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
