Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
