i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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