Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
