Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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