please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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