Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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