marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
