could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
