why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
