i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
