i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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