Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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