So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
