Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
