I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
