Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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