Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
