Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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